So, I thought I was doing really well and making progress through this whole process. I thought that things would get easier as they went along. And for the most part, they did. However, 30 days is a long time to do something like this – mostly because it gets hard to think of 30 things to do. I had several tasks that I wanted to do that didn’t work out for one reason or other, so for the last week or so I was scraping the bottom of the barrel trying to come up with something uncomfortable to do that would fit into my schedule. Especially with all of the added things for graduations and graduation parties that have come up.

There was one task that Ann challenged me to do that I wanted to do (I guess if I’m truthful I wanted to want to do it). And I thought it would be a good one to end the whole challenge on. I didn’t want to end the whole challenge on something lame – I wanted to end it on something that would be good and uncomfortable. And I had built this whole thing up in my mind and I ended up feeling all kinds of pressure to make this last task something special.

The plan was to have a gospel-centered conversation with someone. When Ann made the challenge, she hadn’t meant a stranger, she had meant with anyone. Unfortunately, that is not how I understood it. And, not taking the learnings from all of my other tasks to heart, I, of course, did not have much of a plan coming into the day. And I really only had about an hour and a half to devote to the task because the kids got out of school early, so I had a bit of a time crunch. I decided to try Starbucks again and I failed miserably. I am terrible at starting a conversation with someone (you can see my last attempt here) and this time was no different. I spoke with several people but never managed to have a real conversation with anyone. I left feeling pretty defeated and discouraged. I had failed to do the task. And right there, I almost quit this whole challenge.

Yep, you read that right. I almost quit my 30-day comfort bomb… on day 30. How ridiculous is that? This is the challenge that I started for my own sake, that I got to make the rules for, that I got to set the tasks for. And I almost quit because I couldn’t do a challenge that I (sort of) wanted to do. Yikes!!!! So much more growth is needed.

I ended up being busy for most of the rest of the day and managed to avoid thinking about my task while I picked the boys up, helped them with chores, ran some errands, got some work done, etc. Then, at about 10:00 PM, Ann asked me about my task and I was totally embarrassed that I hadn’t done anything for the challenge that day. If I’m honest, I was probably hoping that she would ask me about it earlier in the day, but it was a busy day and it didn’t happen. It was one of those times when I needed help, I knew that I needed help, but didn’t want to/didn’t know how to ask for it. So, there I sat, at 10:30PM needing to do an uncomfortable thing to finish my 30 day comfort bomb. But I sat there with a new determination after talking to Ann about it and getting the kick in the butt encouragement that I needed.

So I went to Denny’s at 10:45PM by myself. I didn’t really know what my task would entail. I was going to try to talk to someone, but I figured that going to Denny’s at 10:45, by myself for dessert was uncomfortable enough. As I walked in, I tried to talk to two different people… and neither of them spoke English. I was planning to sit at the counter to give me the best chance to talk to someone, but of course, they didn’t have one. So I sat at a table. I was hoping to at least be able to have some kind of a conversation with someone in my area, but… that didn’t happen.

There were four tables around me and let’s just say that there is an interesting crowd at Denny’d at 11:00 on a weekday. At one table was a couple that didn’t look very happy. I’m not sure that they made eye contact or talked to each other for the whole 20-30 minutes that they were there. No way to talk to them – they just stared at the table. At the next table over, an older gentleman with a fake leg sat down and proceeded to eat his entire meal with his phone held out in front of his face, streaming some show at a very loud volume. No way to talk to him – he didn’t ever look away from his phone. Right behind my table was a couple on an awkward first date, but they left just a couple minutes after I sat down. And the final table was a man that seemed angry at everyone. I made eye contact with him and said hi at one point and he just looked away. He was sitting at the table alone, and the waitress asked him if it was just him. He loudly responded, “No I’m not alone.” But, no one ever came to join him, so I’m not sure exactly what was going on with him. I guess I talked to him, he just didn’t talk back.

So I decided that I was just going to spend some time praying for the people around me. I stayed at Denny’s from about 10:45 until 11:45 – I had finished my dessert long ago and I really didn’t want to appear creepy if I stayed too long – at Denny’s – by myself – with nothing left to eat or drink – on a weeknight. I think it is fair to say that it was an uncomfortable task. It is not the grand, spectacular task that I wanted to end the challenge on. It wasn’t even a particularly good task. But it was a task and it was uncomfortable, so mission accomplished… I guess.

Takeaway:

I don’t really know where to start with this one – there are several takeaways. And there will be another post coming up in a few days with takeaways from the whole experience. But from day 30, I think I will go with three takeaways. First, it’s not a good idea to build something up in your mind so much that there is nothing that can live up to it. I went to Starbucks that day knowing that I was probably going to fail and already feeling defeated. Not the best way to get something done. Second, I should probably learn from the theme of planning and being intentional that keeps showing up task after task. And third, it really helps to have someone around to keep you accountable. I definitely needed Ann to ask me some tough questions and encourage me. I didn’t want to give up, but I had let myself believe that I had failed. She reminded me that I made the rules for the challenge and that as long as it was uncomfortable, it qualified. I didn’t need to do the amazing thing that I had built up in my head. I just had to keep moving forward.