I am not going to tell you what you should do. That is between you and God. But this is what God is doing in my life. This is what I am feeling convicted about. Please, read no judgment into it. Like I said, I’m not going to tell you what to do. Just writing about what God is doing in my life. Do with it as you please.
God is big. Much bigger than I give him credit for.
I have spent the better part of the last two decades following a small God. I went to church on Sundays. I worked as a volunteer in our youth ministry for more than 10 years. I volunteered in our media team. I currently work with our 3rd and 4th graders on Sunday mornings. I have done a lot of stuff for God.
And never once did I doubt that God existed. Didn’t doubt that He sent His Son Jesus to die for my sins. Didn’t doubt that He is coming back. But all of that is a little abstract. All of that either happened a long time ago or is happening sometime in the future. It got too easy to live a very comfortable life with God as an accessory. I would take my little God and try to fit him into my life as long as it didn’t inconvenience me too much.
God is way too big to be an accessory.
When I think of accessories, I think of a nice watch or a pair of sunglasses. Something that makes me look good without any effort. And I can take it off anytime I want to. But we can’t treat God like that if we want to have a relationship with Him. I mean seriously, imagine taking the God who created the universe and strapping Him onto your wrist for the evening to make yourself look good. Ridiculous, right? So is trying to work a little bit of the God of the Bible into a comfortable life. This is the God that created the universe by speaking. The God who parted the Red Sea for Moses. The God who was willing to let His people suffer in slavery for 400 years to build them into a nation. The God who sent His Son to die as a sacrifice for my sins (and yours too). This is the God who is calling me to live a life worthy of that sacrifice (Eph 4:1).
As I have been thinking (always dangerous, I know) about my life, I realized how little of it is Gospel-focused. Again, I go to church, volunteer at church, tithe, and help out however I can. But how is this impacting the rest of my life? It is almost like I have two separate lives – the one for God and the safe, comfortable one for the rest of the time.
We only get one life – and I don’t have that much left.
As I am getting older, I am realizing more that I only get one life before I am going to stand before God’s judgment – and I do not want to waste any of it. I want God in my whole life. How can I reconcile binge-watching a show on Netflix (and the hours that it wastes) with living a life worthy of the Gospel? Would my big, huge, enormous God, who loves me and wants the best for me, be pleased with that as a way of spending my time? I’m not saying that there isn’t time for rest and recreation. I haven’t really worked out how all of it fits together yet. But what I do know is that I was spending way too much time on the rest and recreation and way too little time on the actual work of the Gospel. I should only need the rest and recreation because I am worn out from work – not just to be comfortable.
May I say you are already doing something uncomfortable… sharing openly your thoughts through this blog. As I read all three you have so far, I feel blessed and challenged at the same time.
Blessed – to know you; you continue to inspire as I’ve observed your life from afar as a brother a step ahead of me in the season’s of life.
Challenged – to reflect; how easy it is to seek comfort for myself, my wife, my boys; while there is nothing wrong about doing that, even that should be seen through the lenses of the Gospel.
Thanks and Shalom my brother! As you journey this coming month and beyond may our good Father reveal His heart to you as you strive to be the disciple, husband and father for His glory.
Thank you Tem! It has been a pleasure serving with you over the years. And while I am doing this mostly for myself and for the accountability , I would be beyond happy if it encouraged others as well.